McEwan

For the past two weeks, I've had my favourite book of short stories, First Love, Last Rites by Ian McEwan sitting on the trunk beside my bed. I find surprising comfort reading it, just a page here and there, from any of the stories. I will forever be captivated by McEwans effortlessly flowing and lush writing style. My very favourite story is the namesake of the collection, First Love, Last Rites. I've typed out the opening paragraph here -which may be illegal, I'm not sure. Either way, I hope McEwan wouldn't mind, and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do.

From the beginning of summer until it seemed pointless, we lifted the thin mattress on to the heavy oak table and made love in front of the large open window. We always had a breeze blowing into the room and smells of the quayside four floors down. I was drawn into fantasies against my will, fantasies of the creature, and afterwards when we lay on our backs on the huge table,  in those deep silences I heard i faintly running and clawing. It was new to me, all this, and i worried, I tried to talk to Sissel about it for reassurance. She had nothing to say, she did not make abstractions or discuss situations, she lived inside them. We watched the seagulls wheeling about in our square of sky and wondered if they had been watching us up there, that was the kind of thing we talked about, mildly entertaining hypotheses of the present moment. Sissel did things as the came to her, stirred her coffee, made love, listened to her records, looked out the window. She did not say things like I'm happy, or confused, or I want to make love, or I don't, or I'm tired of the fights in my family, she had no language to split herself in two, so I suffered alone what seemed like crimes in my head while we fucked, and afterwards listened alone to it scrabbling in the silence.

Lazy Morning

It's 10:30am, I'm a little hung over, and feeling a little lost, but the breeze is blowing in on my face, I'm surrounded by pillows, and the sun is almost shining through the clouds.

Sticky Buns

Viking Owl

Another Note on Satie

I enjoyed reading the short biography at the front of the book which focuses on Satie's eccentric personality, and I thought this particular paragraph was worth sharing.

Some of the titles of his compositions were as eccentric as his personal life. When a friend -perhaps Debussy- told him that his music would be improved my more attention to form, he wrote for piano duet, Three Pieces in the Form of a Pear. But there are seven rather than three pieces in the volume. There is a "Way of Starting", a "Continuation of the Same", then three numbered pieces, followed by "One More" and a "Rehash". Other of Satie's titles include Disagreeable Perceptions, Authentic Flabby Preludes (for a Dog), Dried Up Embryos, The Dreamy Fish, and The Bureaucratic Sonatina, as well as more conventional titles like Nocturne, Prelude, and Passacaglia.

Erik Satie

Yesterday I bought a book of Satie Gymnopedies and Gnossiennes from a yard sale for 50 cents. Probably the best 50 cents I've spent in a while. I learned the First Gnossienne today. I can't get enough of it. I've played it over and over (I think I was at the piano for about three hours today). It's calming and mysterious, but also passionate and seductive.

Satie's work is an excellent example of music that holds emotions and ideas that can never manifest as words or visuals. Emotions that only exist as sounds, that can be felt and remembered, but never accurately described or recreated in any other form.

A Beautiful Scene

No dialogue necessary.

Tear my Heart Out

 

Mahler: Symphony No. 2 in C minor "Resurrection" VI. Finale- Chorus: Aufersteh'n

OTTER

 

I think we're going to be friends.

Sea Otter Print

 "Not only is this otter an excellent sea vessel pilot, he's quite a showman. His oceanic harbor tour operation features song, dance, and a grand finale involving the ferry equivalent of a wheelie."

Pat Metheny- Orchestrion

There's something really amazing about the way Metheny's able to make music on such a large scale, while each instrument expresses his own ideas. It's unique because the product is the music of one individual, in a setting where normally making music is a collective project. It allows him to express only his own ideas, live, as opposed to dubbing over tracks.
It's also just really sweet.

Changes

Changes- Stars

Can someone tell the city I'm better off without it?

I don't need the dust and the noise.
I enjoy sleeping in a room where there isn't domestic violence happening in the room directly above me at 4 a.m. every night.
I'm sick of public transit, I prefer my CCM coaster, thanks.

I didn't really realize it till now, but I'm desperately in need of some time to myself. Over the last few weeks I've been a little overwhelmed with changes. I was trying to go with the flow, but it all seemed to catch up with me. I've been having sporadic mini-breakdowns triggered by the smallest of events, even trivial comments.

I need some time to go back to all the things that make me feel like myself, and my little town is just the place to do that.